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"Salad Gone Awry"Written By: Emerald Pillow Pairings: 2+5 Warnings: humor; Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, you can try
to sue me, but all you'll get is a cat with a half mask like Trowa
(But, her name is Duo...) Comments: This is the second fanfic I've ever
written and it was written in a moment of temporary insanity. Rating: PG 13
Salad Gone Awry Wu Fei stepped into his motel room and plopped down
on the bed. He was exhausted. This last mission was a bit rougher
than he had expected it to be. Mainly because he was teamed up with
Duo and most of his energy was used trying to handle being around
the American pilot. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, he
was too tired to do anything else. "Wu Fei." Duo whined as he padded into the
room and slumped into the chair in the corner. "The least you
could have done was wait for me." He kicked off his shoes and
brought his legs up in the chair. "You were too slow Maxwell." Wu Fei snarled
not moving an inch. "Yeah, but I would have waited for you." Duo
explained as he examined his scrapped knee. "If you were too weak to keep up, then you shouldn't
have went." "You know, you're too serious. You need to loosen
up." Wu Fei snapped his head toward Duo and glared at him. "You need to take your missions a lot more seriously."
"Hey I take them seriously." "If you fought the way you talk, you would be unstoppable."
He turned his face from Duo so he couldn't see his pouting violet
eyes. Wu Fei welcomed the silence that followed his last statement.
He was starting to surrender to his peaceful slumber when Duo's voice
jerked him awake. "I'm hungry." "You're always hungry Maxwell." "So what's your point?" Duo continued as he
got up and walked over to the table. Wu Fei decided not to give Duo
a reason to keep talking, so he remained silent. Duo shifted through
some pizza flyers he had picked up earlier, as Wu Fei was starting
to fall asleep again. At first Do was going to let his fellow pilot
rest, but a quick reach in his pocket made him change his mind. He
was broke, and knew for a fact that Wu Fei did have some money left.
Without warning, Duo jumped on the bed with such force that his Chinese
comrade was bounced off and onto the floor. Wu Fei sprang to his feet,
his black eyes screaming for justice to follow Duo's actions. He leapt
toward his annoyance in an attempt to strangle the Deathsycthe pilot.
Duo jumped to his feet and started to run, but Wu Fei had caught the
tip of his braid. "Wu Fei, I'm sorry. I didn't mean. . ."
A hard tugged on the braid shut him up. "Maxwell!" "I'm sorry." Surprisingly, Wu Fei released
Duo's pride and joy. "Just let me sleep." He begged for the last
time as he began to crawl under the covers. Right now, he didn't have
the energy to attempt to assassinate the energetic youth. Duo stared
at the Chinese pilot a moment. He had never seen his friend so exhausted
before. "Wu-Wu, I don't. . ." Wu Fei reached into
his pocket and threw some bills at him. It was much easier than arguing
with his comrade, and right now, he could barely keep his eyes open.
"Leave me alone." "Did you want something? For later I mean."
Duo counted the bills, and then checked the flyers again. Part of
him wanted to use the money to get an extra large pizza with the works,
but then he couldn't remember seeing Wu Fei eat at all that day. "How
about a pizza?" "I don't eat pizza." His voice was thick with
sleepiness. "What? How can you not? You'd have to be an alien
not to eat pizza. Even Heero eats pizza." "It's not healthy." Wu Fei yawned and wanted
nothing more than the peaceful darkness of sleep. All he got was Duo's
nonstop chattering. "Sure it is. If you get the right items. The crust
is your wheat group. You have tomato sauce for your fruits. Mushrooms
as vegetables. You can have just about any meat you want. And most
important, it's greasy." Duo stood over his partner, waiting
for a response. All that followed his explanation was a single word
that was muffled by the pillow Wu Fei's face was buried in. Duo wasn't
sure what the other had uttered, but he was almost certain it was
'idiot.' Duo scanned the flyer and decided that a large would just have to do. He couldn't afford to get the works on his pizza and Wu Fei something, so he decided to just get three toppings. That way his four basic food groups would be covered. He studied the flyer a little longer, wondering what to get his friend. There wasn't too much on the menu that was 'healthy.' ***** Wu Fei wiped the sweat from his fore head and threw
the covers off. He walked over to the pizza box and opened the lid.
He knew that he had told Duo earlier that he didn't like pizza, but
he was too hungry to be fickle. And too tired to go and get something.
All he found were crust of it's former occupant. Wu Fei glared at
Duo's sleeping figure. "Should have know better than think food would
get by the human garbage disposal." His eyes suddenly landed
on the second carry out box. Should I even bother? It's probably empty
too. Despite his thoughts, he opened the Styrofoam carry out, and
was surprised to find a Greek salad waiting inside. Even more surprising
was that the salad was untouched. Wu Fei glanced over to Duo. Duo
didn't seemed to have noticed that he was awake, let alone walking
around. Figuring his friend was uncomfortable, Wu Fei scooped the sleeping pilot into his arms and carried him to the bed. He was careful not to wake the braided wonder as he laid him on the bed and covered him. He studied Duo's features and found himself laughing inside. "He even smiles when he's asleep. Maybe his face is frozen like that." Turning his attention back to his stomach, Wu Fei sat in the chair and began enjoying his salad. ******** "Ready to play jump rope?" Wu Fei laughed
as he started twirling Duo's braid as if it was a real jump rope.
"Wu Fei, what happened to you?" Duo sputtered
as he snatched his hair. Wu Fei bounced off the bed and laughed. Duo's
jaw dropped near to the bed he was sitting on. He had never heard
him laugh before. "Close your mouth Du-Du. You're catching flies."
That said, Wu Fei doubled over with laughter at his own corny joke.
Duo scanned the room, looking for some sign as to what could have
changed his comrade so quickly. His eyes fell on the empty salad box.
"What was in that salad?" Duo wondered out
loud. Wu Fei picked up the box and looked inside for an answer. "I'm not sure, but I think I liked it." He
laughed and placed the empty carton on his head as if it was the most
natural thing in the world. Duo climbed off the bed slowly as if Wu
Fei was a lion about to strike. "I am the king." Wu Fei
announced and started to parade around the small room. Duo cautiously
stepped up to the now energetic dragon. "Uh. . Wu Fei. . You're starting to scare me."
Duo said uncertain as if he didn't want to startle the Altron pilot.
"Duo Maxwell afraid? And I thought you were a Gundam
pilot. Some pilot if little old me scares you." He playfully
placed his index finger on Duo's nose. Before Duo could react, Wu
Fei spun away from him and performed an odd dance that Duo couldn't
even began to describe. "Uh. . Wu Fei. ." Duo grabbed the box off
of the other's head. He examined it as closely as possible. "Hey give back my crown Maxwell." Wu Fei demanded
as he snatched the box from Duo. "I think someone slipped something in that salad."
Duo explained. "You said you wanted me to loosen up." "Not like this." Duo continued a little concerned
as to what exactly was put in the salad. Furthermore how would it
affect the China man and his performance as a Gundam pilot. "What
if. . ." Wu Fei suddenly lost all interest in what the American
was saying as he began singing the first thing that popped into his
head. "Hey, why don't we do something?" The Altron
pilot said all of a sudden and ended his tickle spree. "Like what?" Duo pondered, rubbing his ribs.
"I dunno. Let's just do something." He stood
up and helped Duo to his feet. "I'm sure you, of all people,
can think of something." Duo thought for a moment. With Wu Fei
like this, the possibilities are endless. I could probably talk him
into anything right now. But what? We can't really leave the motel
right now. They could be looking for us. He continued to rack his
brain but for some reason, he couldn't think of anything. "We could play go fish." Duo shrugged, not
sure what else to say. There wasn't much in the room. Just the bed,
chair, lamp, and table. They didn't even have a phone. If they wanted
to make a phone call, they would have to go outside. It was a lame
ideal, but the only one he could come up with. "Okay." Duo reached under the bed for his duffel bag. It took a few moments, but he finally pulled out some cards. There were only four. All of them were aces, two were the same. Duo would never admit it, but they were his cheat cards that he usually slipped up his sleeve during games. In an attempt to keep them hidden, Duo turned to ram the cards back in his bag. Before they reached their destiny, Wu Fei snatched them from him. "Where's the rest?" Wu Fei asked as he plopped on the bed again. Duo continued to search the bag. The rest of the cards weren't in there. "I must have forgot them." "Oh well. We can still play with these." Duo
looked up in surprise to find Wu Fei shuffling the four cards as if
it were a full deck. What in the world was in that salad. I need to
know. I wouldn't mind getting some of that stuff for the next time
we have a mission together. With that thought going through his mind,
Duo hoisted himself up on the bed to the awaiting pile of two cards
sitting in front of him. "You can go first." Wu Fei demanded,
a smirk plaguing his chiseled features. Duo picked up his cards and
looked at them, he had the two different cards. "Do you have any aces?" Wu Fei grinned as
he pulled one of the two cards from his hand and licked the back of
it. He then stuck the card to his forehead and grinned widely. "You want it, come and get it weakling." Wu
Fei challenged, his black eyes daring Duo to try the said task. Duo
studied the boy sitting across from him, wondering if he was serious.
The playful grin he received was enough for him to accept the challenge.
Trying the direct approach first, Duo leaned over and tried to pluck
the card. Wu Fei, in turn leaned back so that now he was out of reach.
"Come on, take my card." He encouraged, the smirk growing
across his features. Duo tried again, this time he leaned a little
further than the last. As expected, Wu Fei leaned back again, but
this time he leaned too far and ended up laying flat on his back.
Duo seized the moment and straddled him, pinning both elbows to the
bed with his knees. "That card is mine Wu-Wu." Duo called in victory
as he reached down to claim his prize. Wu Fei jerked his head up and
replaced it back on the bed so fast that it took Duo a moment to realize
what had happened. The once stone walled warrior had somehow managed
to pinned his opposers hand behind his own head. Duo blinked in amazement
as he tried to free his hand unsuccessfully. Noting the unguarded
moment, Wu Fei slammed his body up against Duo's, knocking him over.
With the swiftness of a cheetah, Duo was now pinned unmercifully to
the bed. "Hey no fair." Duo whined as he stared at
the taunting ace that was still between coal eyes. Wu Fei tightened
his grip on Duo's small wrist. "Come on Maxwell, I know you're stronger than that. Take my card." He taunted. At first Duo was going to surrender. His rival was just too strong and too quick, but his ego wouldn't let him lose. With one final attempt, Duo lunged as far as the restraining hands would allow him. The goal was to either grab the card with his teeth, or to jar the Altron pilot enough so that the card would fall. Neither of the two happened as Duo laid defeated on the bed. He closed his eyes and turned from Wu Fei's criticism. Is that what this whole card thing was for? So he could prove how much of a weakling I am? What a jerk. Duo's thoughts were interrupted as he felt something hit his cheek. He opened one eye and found himself staring at the card. He felt the strong grip on his wrists loosen, and before he could figure out what had happened, Wu Fei came crashing down on top of him, knocking the breath out of him. Once he recaptured it, he realized that Wu Fei was now asleep on top of him. ~ * ~ Chapter |
